A Life on the Run
by MusicCarroll
Summary: Red/Lizzie meet up after a month on the run, and finally have a chance to relax. When they finally have time to process what's happened, it stirs up nightmares for both of them. Red has the perfect idea, and possibly an ulterior motive.
1. Chapter 1

This is my very first time showing my writing to anyone. Specifically for Lizzington shippers Facebook's Secret Santa. For the lovely Anca.

chapter 1

This was the longest Red had gone without seeing his Lizzie. They had to split up to keep Ressler off their tails, but had planned to meet up south of the border in a month. Red knew Liz was more than capable of taking care of herself, she always had been, but he also knew the kind of people they were up against . These men made the devil look God fearing, and they would rip hell itself apart to get what they desired most. He knew she would be okay, though. He knew the specters he hired were always watching her, ready to assist and vanish back into the shadows without a trace. Lizzie would eat him alive if she found out they were still there.

It was that thought that made Red chuckle to himself, The first smile he had allowed in weeks. He flashed back to the car ride that day, the way she laid her head on his shoulder and slept, the sound of her breath, the smell of her so near him he felt his heart leap up into his throat. The both of them sitting there, with their eyes closed…He drew in a sharp breath and shook his head as he slowly let it out.

She burned through his veins like unadulterated fire, pure destruction. She would absolutely wreck him and what's more, he welcomed it with a smile. After everything that happened, Red deserved whatever punishment he received. So many things went wrong that day, and much of it he couldn't control. He still felt like an absolute failure, but that thought process was futile, and was far more deadly to their cause than the damage he believed he did.

Red knew he had to snap himself out of it, he was after all Raymond Reddington, the Concierge of Crime. One of the most notorious criminals to come along since Al Capone. He was also the biggest thorn in the Director's side now, well, him and Elizabeth Keen.

Red smiled again knowing that his plan with the journalists had worked, and that right now the Director had just as big of a mess to clean up as he did. . Intentionally being one of the main causes of that mess had been rewarding as hell. Anything that cause the Director trouble was always a highlight in his day.

Red's thoughts returned to his Lizzie. Coming to terms with her involvement in the situation left a sick feeling in the pit of his stomach. He had to get past this if they wanted to survive, let alone take these bastards down. As much as he wanted Liz, he wanted to make them pay. When Lizzie found out everything he knew, she would too. He was certain of it.


	2. Chapter 2

chapter 2

Red was alone with his thoughts for three more days before Lizzie finally showed up on the front porch of the small cabin Red had owned for God knows how long, according to him. Liz remembered him telling her about a very nice lady from Great Falls, Michigan who had given it to him. Red had helped her with a money laundering operation she was trying to take over after her husband's untimely death.

Red's cabin was gorgeous, wedged serenely between massive green and brown dotted hills, and a lake that reflected the sky. The cabin stood at the end of a fenced off, very long private driveway, tucked off in the back of hills on the edge of town. Hopping out of the back of the pickup truck she had hitched a ride in for the past three hours, she hopped over the red rusted fence and down the dirt road, eager to see Red again.

Not that long ago her whole life had been turned completely upside down by Red. At the time she had furiously kicked and screamed as he systematically destroyed everything she thought she understood, everything she had worked so hard for. Knowing what she knew now, about Tom, about the cabal, her mother … her father… her whole life as she knew it had been a lie.

Red was the only one in her life that had not lied to her. She realized the instant she shot Tom Connolly, the kind of man that Raymond Reddington really was. That day she was finally able to relax around him and truly let her guard down. Lizzie wished the price hadn't been such a mammoth weight on her shoulders. Being on the run alone was hell, when she wasn't running from place to place, she was waiting; hiding from people she had grown to care about. People who now had to hunt her down because of what she had done. Right now, she could see no way out of this, but she was certain that Red knew more than she did, and if he said he was going to try and clear her name, she could trust that it was the truth.

The road went on for three miles back up into the hills toward the cabin, just a small dusty road lined with spotty sections of shrubs, grass and small trees across the landscape underscoring the violently colored sunset that she was slowly walking toward. From a distance she could see the house , just a small rustic log cabin with a front porch. A light on in the front window made her stop abruptly. Lizzie had become paranoid over the past few weeks and had to remind herself that she was expecting someone to be there.

After a long pause, she decided to walk around the cabin first, to check the perimeter. She rolled her eyes at herself when she thought that. . Lizzie knew the truth behind her hesitation. She wasn't ready to see him yet. . She could still see the look on Red's face that day. That was a look that she never wanted to see again. It looked like the whole world had broken in his eyes.

Making her way around to the back of the cabin, she felt a chill run up her spine as she heard a twig snap behind her in the near distance. Thinking fast she pulled the gun out of it's holster, attached to her jeans, and turned the safety off.

"

Well hello to you too… would you mind putting that away please?" A familiar voice came from behind her and instantly her shoulders dropped and her stomach tightened.

Turning around she saw him, standing there in a light grey 3 piece suit, blue tie and white fedora with his usual detached smile, his eyes lit up as his gaze finally reached her face though, and as quick as it was, Liz caught it. As the realization set in, she stopped thinking for the first time in a month and ran purely on instinct.

Before Red knew what was going on, he felt her warm body pressing against his; her arms wrapping around his waist. His Lizzie was finally here, her face buried in his chest. The shock lasted only moments before he reciprocated. Holding her as tightly as his arms would allow, entangling his fingers in her hair.

Breathing her in for a moment, everything around him vanished. Red couldn't hold her close enough to satisfy the almost too painful longing that had built up within him. At that moment, she was safe and in his arms, she could hate him for the rest of her life if she chose to right now and he wouldn't care so long as she didn't leave his side again. After what seemed like an all too brief moment, he began to loosen his grip on Lizzie as he could feel her body finally start to relax for what he assumed was probably the first time in a while.


	3. Chapter 3

*Sorry this has taken so long, it's been tricky trying to get this story just right. Also wanted to say thank you to my wonderful friend and editor Mateja...Thanks for the help with this.*

Chapter 3

Lizzie was slightly disappointed as Red began to pull away. Somehow, it was the only place that felt like asylum from the rabbit hole she had obviously jumped down. There had been days where she questioned whether any of this was real. Moments of strange clarity where she was sure she could wake up from this nightmare, if she knew the trick to do it.

His scent was intoxicating to her as she took a deep breath and let all of her worry go for the moment. Lizzie knew she needed to take their time here and recover as much as they could before the battle started all over again. She knew just as well as Red did, that until a short while ago, both sides had only been firing warning shots. The real war was about to begin, and they wouldn't survive if they kept breaking down every time one of them made mistakes. They didn't get to have the luxury of feeling guilt, that would get them both killed.

She was tired of surviving the onslaught the Cabal had rained down on them, exhausted from constantly dodging bullets and running one step behind them. A month on the run gave her a whole new appreciation for the hell Red must have been through for most of his life. The Cabal did this to her, just as they had done to Red, and Lizzie wanted to pay them back in kind. The Cabal took everything from her and she intended to return the favor.

"Let's get inside, shall we. I'll show you around the house," Red place a hand on the small of Lizzie's back motioning her up

"I know it's not much but at least it's safe. No one knows we are here, hell, no one even knows this place exists."

"Except for that sweet little lady in Grand Rapids, Michigan right?" Lizzie joked.

"Oh goodness no, the poor woman passed away last year, God bless her, from a very unfortunate brain aneurysm, no one saw it coming. Her son runs the family business now. Very generous man, his employees get medical, dental and a christmas bonus. His family never told him about this place either, he was ten when his father died, poor thing," Red shook his head at the thought of a small mousy haired boy with freckles looking on at his father's headstone and grimaced slightly. "Anyway, let's get inside, I'm dying to know what you've been up to this past month."

It completely incensed Lizzie that Red could just flow, so casually, into conversation; As if he was talking to someone he was attempting to make a deal with. She saw it for the mask it was, she knew that he had been just as rattled by the emotion behind that embrace.

Lizzie wasn't sure, however, whether it angered her because Red thought he was successfully deceiving her, or because he still had a better poker face than she did. She thought about calling him out on his bullshit for a moment, then realized she was way too tired to fight. Lizzie hadn't fully comprehended how wound up she had really been for the past month or how much seeing Red again would affect her physically until it hit her at that moment. When she was on the run, she hadn't slept well. She had been way too jumpy to get any kind of rest beyond a couple of hours at a time. Every small noise when she was about to drift off snapped her wide awake. Accepting that they were not going to be found here, relieved some of the stress and allowed her to become almost instantly exhausted.

"Can you just show me to a bed please, all I want to do right now is sleep," Lizzie stepped up onto the hooded porch as Red turned around to get a good look at her face. For an instant she could see a flash of something in his eyes and then it was gone.

The sunset had blinded him a bit before but now they were both in shade he could get a good look at her face. Lizzie was wearing ripped up jeans, brown work boots and a light blue tank top with her hair falling around her face, it was all he could do to keep from grabbing her up in his arms and taking her to bed himself. As soon as the thought entered his mind he let it go. She could read his expressions better than anyone else in his life and she'd slap him if she could see the desperate need to have her that he was certain was written all over his face. Red's attention returned to Lizzie as they entered the small cabin. "They are just down that hall and on the left. The front bedroom is yours and the bathroom is on the right across from that. I have some clothes for you in the closet in there and a fresh set of sheets. I can get some food started when you get up, but rest as long as you need to."

He understood why she was so tired, he'd been through all this before, but after a while running becomes second nature. Red had to run, but by no means was he ever retreating. He had been waiting, stalking, poking around for weaknesses in his enemies armor and exploiting them to his advantage. So far, with the exception of the most recent fiasco, everything was going fantastically. Then again he planned for everything. Red was never a boy scout, but he could respect the motto, he definitely lived by it.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

This wasn't Red's usual kind of place, but it certainly had an elegance that could only come from him. The first thing Lizzie noticed was the smell of cedar permeating the whole house and as she looked around she could see why. The walls were all cedar panels, an absolutely beautiful rust brown color accented by beautiful Navajo blankets on the walls and Lizzie was certain that each one had a unique story she wanted to hear. The couch in the living room was a buttery tan leather sofa that tempted her to forgo the bed and just crash immediately there. There was no television, in it's place was what looked like an antique radio with a few new upgrades. One whole wall contained shelves of books that would hopefully keep her occupied for a while and on the coffee table it looked like someone had been playing solitaire with a deck of artistic looking playing cards .

Moving past the living room, Lizzie walked down the hall with Red showing her the way. Opening the door for her he gave her a curt smile and wished her sweet dreams before shutting the door behind her to go make some phone calls. Her room was not very large, but it was very cozy. The bed was larger than the one she and Tom had slept in together at home. This one didn't feel nearly as lonely, though.

Sleeping with Tom again had been nothing but a goodbye to Liz. She knew it was over when she realized she couldn't call him by his real name. He would always be Tom, but Tom wasn't real. So much of her life hadn't been real, that was the most difficult part to fathom. She was way too tired to deal with any of this right now, Lizzie thought as she laid her head on the grey cotton pillow case, on quite possibly the fluffiest pillow ever. Before she could even think about how comfortable the bed was, she was out cold. In an instant, she was back in that room with Connolly and herself and the gun.

Everything began to go black except for her and the senator as she heard him laughing at her. Connolly looked at her and his eyes went red and then black as he began to speak to her in some sort of muted english she couldn't quite make out. She didn't need to understand what he was saying to understand how aggressive he was becoming. The fear came rushing back to her with interest, worrying about losing her job, her friends, her Red… she had to do something.

Looking down in slow motion she saw the gun in her hand almost move on it's own as her arm raised toward her enemy. Lizzie began to yell at herself to stop, to put the gun down but her arm wouldn't listen. Pulling the trigger this time, the gun didn't make a sound but the bullet ripped through the senators flesh all the same. Her eyes followed her arm back down as something rolled into her field of vision and lightly landed at her feet. As Lizzie bent down to pick it up, a new horror began to crawl under her skin. It wormed its way through her, paralyzing her as she saw the blood begin to soak her feet. She didn't need to look up to know what she had done. The white hat in her hand was enough, but she looked anyway. Red was staring at her with that pained expression on his face that had smashed her heart to pieces; holding onto the gun in her hand. His heart was pumping blood right out of the bullet hole in his chest.

For a split moment in time, Lizzie felt the world tightening in her stomach, her head burned with rage and pain. He smiled at her sadly as he fell away into the darkness, away from her forever. As she stood there with the hat in her hands she could hear the Cabal all around her in the dark. What sounded like hundreds of voices, howling approval, laughing and clapping as she looked on in horror at the blood on her hands, covered in Red. Losing herself in her agony, she began to wail Red's name as the discord around her reached a fever pitch. Suddenly she was back in her bed, drenched in sweat hearing someone screaming.

Red had just gotten off the phone with Mr. Kaplan, everything seemed to be going well back at home so far. Ressler and the team were looking for Red and Liz in Russia. Mr. Kaplan and Dembe were doing a fantastic job of helping to cover their tracks so far. He just hoped it didn't have to be forever.

Laying his head back on the couch and closing his eyes, Red began to relax when he heard screaming coming from Lizzie's room. He sprang up from the couch and bolted as fast as he could to her, slammed open the door and saw her sitting bolt upright in bed almost howling in some kind of pain. The twisted look on her face struck him at his core and he quickly moved to wake her up taking her by the shoulders and calling her name over the noise. Instantly her eyes shot open and he could see the tears forming, then making their way down her cheek as she looked around still trying to figure out what was nightmare and what was not.

Finally realizing the screaming voice was hers, Lizzie stopped abruptly and attempted to calm down, but the damage from that nightmare had already been done. She was shaking severely and could not stop the stream of tears from cascading down her face. Red grabbed her up in his arms trying desperately to calm her down. He noticed after a while she began to relax in his arms, but the flood of tears were not stopping.

"Shh, it was a dream, just a dream," Red had no idea what kind of nightmare would make her crumble so desperately. He knew he had to get to the bottom of this and fast, but first he had to calm her down.

"I'll be right back, i'm going to get you a glass of water." Red was at the door when Lizzie barely whispered to him, "I'm sorry."


End file.
